maria gumpal

It's hard to sleep when there are a million things running through your head. It's also worse when you feel like shit. I don't know if I'll be able to sleep tonight, even though I'm exhausted. Whenever I have too many things in my head, I try replaying a song over and over until I fall asleep. I don't know if that will work this time.

I am glad, however, that my LSAT score went up. I'm so close to getting where I want to be. I just need to work harder, but I don't know how I can stay focused right now. I feel like I've been slapped in the face. I just hate it when there's a problem that I can't fix. I hate it when there's no solution. It's not that I can't reach the solution myself, it's more that there isn't a solution to begin with. It's so frustrating. I fucking hate complications. I'm totally an A to B kind of person. Someone who walks in straight lines and follows and gives directions. I get so irked when I have to deal with people do don't see me eye to eye.

I'm letting my brother borrow some money, and I just spent a ton on plane tickets. I can't really go shopping on black Friday anymore. Just because I have a credit card doesn't mean that I'm going to put myself in debt and spend money I don't have.

My entire law school application process depends on my LSAT score. It will either make or break me. I NEED to get my score up. I'm so close to where I want to be. I just need to work a little harder.

So let's just say that the aforementioned list did not go as well as it planned. I ended up watching two episodes of Sunny in Philadelphia and a movie called "Funny People" that wasn't very funny.

My eyes are a little heavy and I'm probably going to go to sleep soon. For some damn reason, I can't get the band Journey out of my head.

I just read a friend's blog. This person isn't a person that I talk to very much anymore, since we kind of made our separate ways after high school, but I decided to read his blog just because I was curious. It really surprises me how deep some people can get. Sometimes it makes me want to think harder. I think I take things too easily sometimes. I really need to challenge myself more and put two and two together.

I don't have class or work, so I need to motivate myself enough so that I get some shit done.

I need to:

-do laundry
-do at least 2-3 logic games
-do 2 LR pacing sections
-re-read some of my notes and go over certain areas
-do problems in my book that I haven't done

Whenever I'm home I can't find the drive to work. I hate it. Today I'm going to TRY hard. NO restaurant city dammit!

I used to really like Incubus. They fell off the radar.

I am really happy for Angie. She's going to have a baby, and I think she'll make a great mom.

I love love love the show Glee. I love musicals, so it's great that there's a mini musical type show every morning.

I don't really think the term "bitch" really means a bad thing. I think women have reinvented the meaning of the word. I see a bitch as a boss. She's a female that owns.

I want to see the Lady Gaga concert now that I saw her new video. That woman is off the wall.

I need to study, but the internet and damn facebook is distracting as hell.

Rules of logic are consuming my life.

Sometimes I wish I were a stronger woman. I wish I could stand up to things more, or speak my mind in group situations.

I'm happy that I have a job despite the bad economy, but I hope for better.

I'm tired of running around in circles.

I really like my new backpack. The water bottle holders on the sides come in really handy.

I want to learn how to make those stuffed mushrooms that are usually served at Italian restaurants.

I'm thinking that someday I want to go somewhere where no one knows me and try something new.

I'm going to have another really really long day tomorrow. I'd like to take Sunday off and slack off, but I have a lot more studying ahead of me.

The books that I received from Kaplan are about 12 inches high. It's very intimidating knowing that I have to read them all in about a month.

For my birthday, I want to plan a really nice dinner with my closest friends from Sac and SF. Hopefully it'll all work out.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE Thanksgiving. Pumpkin Pie!! YUM!

Greg is in the kitchen right now cooking for me. He's so sweet.

I am still only 19% complete with Batman. The game is much longer than I expected.

I love the lady I carpool with. She's a beast on the road.

Halloween is going to be so awesome this year. I'm glad that I can still come up to Davis on Saturday even though I have my Kaplan Class that same day.

I think I'm going to have the busiest November that I've ever had in my life.

Things are going so awesomely crazy for me. I'm so thankful for all of it. God has been good to me.

I like Mariah Carey's wild curly hair. It reminds me of her old school days, but I still think that she marrying Nick Cannon is weird. He's so annoying.

I stopped taking my sister's calls. It's been a couple of days, but we got in an argument and I was really pissed at her for a while, but now it's just weird not talking to her everyday.

I'm going to the shop later tonight to try and study. I'm much more productive if I study there. If I study at home, I just end up sleeping.

I want to beef up my vocabulary.

So lots of exciting things have been happening. That's all I'm pretty much going to say.

OMG.

I found a poem I wrote in high school. hahaha omg it's soooooo old.



Untitled


A fading rhapsody

persists to exist

somewhere

in the recesses of his mind.

To erase a black past,

subdued transgressions

will enable a renewed redemption,

drowning away

the real folk blues.

But now in a life

of transparent,

mechanical rhythm,

this phantasm that haunts his memories

continues

her love song of sorrow,

forcing him to question

life's value and validity

in this dream's endless eternity,

as his shadow's silhouette walks down

an

empty

street,

in

the

rain.

Halloween is coming up. I have a cool costume. I don't know what my plans for the night are yet. It's on a Saturday this year. Whoop.

I have so much that I need to do within the next couple of weeks. It's just exhausting thinking about it.

I still need a job. I send out resumes everyday.

I don't think I'm as productive when I am in Davis. I get lazy.

The DMV is pissing me off.

I want to watch Ponyo again.

Glee is a good show. Me and my little cousin watch it together every Weds. I just kind of stumbled in on her while she was watching it, and now I love it.

I want to work more on cupcakes, but I can't make it unless I have someone to give them too. I can't eat all those things by myself. I'm already on a diet.

I need to get another haircut. I bought dark red hair dye the other day. I'm probably going to dye it after I get it cut.

Kat is going to have a bachelorette party soon. I really want to do it, but the whole night's festivities are pretty pricey, and I'm broke as hell. I love the girl like a sister though, so I'm probably going to do it.

I'm going to check out the Davis Law School on the 17th. They're having a open house kind of thing for minority students. The official open house is on Nov 7th (the same day as Kat's thing) and I don't know if I want to do that, but I'm thinking about it. I already reserved a spot, but I don't want to show up and make an ass out of myself when I'm really probably not going to apply this year. I need to get another legal job so I can get a recommendation letter from a lawyer. The only teachers I am close with at Davis are my Japanese ones. They truthfully aren't going to really help me that much. I need to make friends with more lawyers dammit.

I just watched Michael Moore's "Sicko" and my eyes are sore from crying.

It's a shame that the richest nation in the world chooses not to take care of it's citizens. Money really, really corrupts people. There are so many things disgusting and wrong with the way our current health care system is, but I don't even know what good it would do if it were run by Washington. Even if health care were to be taken over by the government, I still feel that it would not solve our problems. It's not like politicians are the best people who care about the less fortunate either. In the end, this whole idea of American Independence and self fulfillment just leads to selfishness and greed. Everyone is only out to make a profit, and everyone is only out to help themselves--whether it be the CEO of an insurance company, or a congressman. There is no difference. They all can eventually be bought out anyways.

I want to move to France.

I made pesto pasta and didn't really like it. I ended up adding some salt and it made the world of a difference. I don't usually like adding extra salt to my meals because I already consume so much sodium in everything else I eat, but alas, it needed to be done.

I'm listening to Richard Marx and his music is so sweet.

I'm really in the mood for a sailor moon ice cream pop from the ice cream man. I haven't had one of those since I was a kid. The ball in the middle of the star was nasty, hard ass bubble gum, but the ice cream was always good.

I'm going to the Giant's Game on Saturday with some friends. I'm not really looking that forward into going. Baseball is boring and I've been to enough games already. I guess I'm just going to go hang out with everyone.

I like it when restaurants have witty names. I make it a priority to eat at those.

Fast and Furious (4) was a good movie. It made the other two movies in between look like filler. I don't know what the deal with Vin Diesel's ego is. The fast the furious made him famous and after he only did crappy movies and went on this downward spiral. He just needs to making more Fast and the Furious movies and be done with it. "The Pacifier" Vince. "The Pacifier". Come on. Stick to what you know best.

I had a really important interview scheduled for Thursday that got canceled. I'm waiting for them to reschedule it, but now the cancellation has gotten me nervous.

I'mmmmmmmmmmmmmm loooooooooking for another jooooooooooobbbb!!!!! Whah!!!!!! Why is it so damn hard!!!

I want to see District 9, but I don't know who will see it with me. Greg already saw it with a friend.

Ponyo was a great movie!!! It was kind of for kids but it was still good! So cute!

So much has been happening these past couple of days it's hard to keep track of everything.

I have been spending way too much money lately. Ahhhhh.....

I'm going to start to make an effort to spend more time with the dogs. Moki ran away and it was kind of scary for a few days. We almost got in a semi accident when we were trying to get her back.

Today at Berkeley, I saw a newspaper article that was about how great the prospects for 2007 graduating seniors were. Jobs were plentiful and all was good. Mannnn I got so depressed when I saw that. Someone hire me! I work hard!

I hate buying crap that you don't want, but is necessary, like print cartridges. Dammit. They should invent a printer where the "ink" is unlimited and NEVER has to be refilled.

I'm listening to Asian Kung Fu Generation. They are a good band with catchy tunes.

Nightlife at the academy of sciences was not what I expected it to be. There were tons of people and it was soooo crowded. I've already been to it, but I felt kind of bad for those of us that never went to it before. They didn't get to really see anything and most of the exhibits closed before we could check them out. It's cool that it's only ten bucks though. My sister ended up flirting with the security guard, and she got in for free, like usual.

Woodland has lots of mexican food places, and Greg and I ate at one today, but I wasn't impressed. Thankfully there are a hundred more to choose from.

I love Diet Coke. I even bought a T-shirt when I went to Vegas.

I'm trying to look for a job somewhere in Sacramento. So if you know of one holler!

I disliked Watchmen even more the second time I saw it. Rorschach is still badass though.

I like giving the doggies treats once in a while.

I want to find a healthy risotto recipe.

I am officially broke. I need to start saving money again.

I have a new beta fish. His name is Nova.

I only like Strawberry Poptarts. I don't really care for the other flavors.

I think I'm the only person on the planet who hasn't seen The Hangover.

I went to a Giant's game last weekend it was surprisingly very fun. The weather didn't suck, nor was the game boring. I've had my share of sucky giant's games, so I'm glad that this one was entertaining.

I want to go to a 49er game. I've never been to one.

I wonder if it's best to forget things that we don't want to remember. That's the thing. We want to forget because it brings bad memories, but at the same time don't want to forget. I really try, but sometimes it just pops back into my brain and consumes it. Then I become preoccupied with something else and it gets buried back again. But then every once in a while, out of the blue moon, my mind reminds me that it happened.

I think the Korean singer Boa is pretty.

I wonder what my life will be like in 10 years. Hopefully by then I won't be hideously fat lol.

I'm happy right now. I guess I'm not where I want to be career wise, but I'm happy with things overall. You know that saying, "Well the world doesn't revolve around you?" Well, in my case, I think it should. I mean, ever since I've started to live my life the way I wanted I've never been happier. I've stopped trying to please everyone, I've stopped doing things because of the way it affects other people. I'm sick of thinking about how my actions determine what people think of me. I'm tired of trying to be part of a family that never cared. I've learned to put myself and my happiness first. I know that may sound selfish, but I'm having a ball.

I have this thing about the play count on my iTunes--I want all the songs to have the highest numbers possible.

Vegas was incredible. Now I know what all the hype was about.

The club there was crazy. Thank god we got bottle service. That shit just isn't worth it unless you do. There are thousands of people. Eww. People sweat.

We drove there and the drive to and from Vegas went pretty well. We left at the right times, so we didn't hit any traffic.

I want to go back next year.

It's hard to adjust to the regular swing of things.

Today was a pretty chill day. Just stayed at home and watched youtube videos online lol.

I don't like drinking vitamin D milk. If I have too, I fill it only half way and fill the other half with water.

I effing HATE downloading movies and finding out that they don't work. Ugh.

I also watched Zack and Miri make a Porno today and was pleasantly surprised. It ended up being a really touching movie, and I even cried at the end.

I want to try and drink more tea. It's good for you.

I'm in the mood for Indian food.

I'm going to the San Francisco symphony for the first time on Saturday. I have no idea what to wear. Do people get dressed up for this sort of thing? How dressed up? Hmmm....Shit. What do I wear.

I'm addicted to playfish games on facebook. They are consuming my life!

There seems to be lots of free time in my days lately. I want to get another job. I feel like I'm doing nothing.

I want to see the King Tut Exhibition at the De Young, the Samurai exhibit at the Asian Art Museum, and Georgia O'Keefe and Ansel Adams at the MOMA. Alas, I can't afford admission prices now a days. My work hours have gotten less and money is tight. Furthermore, while Vegas will be super fun, it's going to put a dent in my wallet like no other.

My aunt has been on a diet for 2 months now, and I'm just starting to see changes. It's gotten me pretty jealous. I want to lose weight too dammit. Ugh. But I hate working out. I do. It's so f'ing boring. I'm not that much of a music fan so listening to stuff over and over while I run isn't really that fun. The only way to do it is if I join some fancy gym and watch TV while I work out. The gym at my school has ten TVs in the main gym and each treadmill and bike is hooked up to it. You just plug your headphone in the machine and it's all good. Maybe I should become a member again. Hmmmm....I just don't want to be a fatass anymore.